I am having a meltdown, be back soon.posted Jul 24th 2008, 5:40AM
Mood: Discouraged
Music: S.O.S. - Toybox
You know one of those journals you write because there is no one to really talk to but you just HAVE to rant or else your world will end? Yeah, I am having one of those journals.
I finally re-joined deviantART and I am so nervous to not make a good impression because I wasn't who I once was there. I have matured and I don't obsess over Sonic and draw silly fan characters all the time. And still I got a lot of watchers some how.
I am trying to make a new ID but it always come out all wrong. Now I am having all these doubts about how well I draw. I haven't used my tablet in a few days so my lineart is horrible. I just keep comparing myself to my friends who have such beautiful drawings in their galleries who have such flawless lineart and such goregous shading. My art I was so proud of is crumbling in my eyes and I become ashamed of it. And I wonder, "How did I get friends like them?" Which is terrible to do because you always hear "never compare yourself to others" but I just....
I really hate to be the one who you have to pity and comfort. I can bet one of you wants to slap me because I shouldn't be complaining. I actually would like for someone to slap me and say I shouldn't complain. That would mean I am more than acceptable at drawing.
But being away from my old friends and deviantART seeing that they have improved makes me fear that I haven't improved as well.
I should suck it up, I shouldn't look at other people because I will never be them. I am ME, I will forever be ME no matter how much I want to change. I will forever act like ME, think like ME, look like ME and live the same life as ME.
Ugh... I should stop ranting now. Maybe I should use one of those 3,000 notebooks I have for a diary sometime.
Is it you? Alyssa? I never knew you had a SA account! I am so happy to hear from you again!! I really missed you! You almost made me snort up my pudding!
I've seen your art recently too. You are fantastic now! Although I always knew you would be.
Long time no see... or hear, how technical you want to be.
Yes! Oh, gosh. We have so much catching up to do!
I actually got an SA account because of you. I was randomly thinking one day, "Whatever happened to Hannah?" and remembered you had a youtube account, and BAM! You also have a Sheezy account.
It's so nice to hear from you again!
Yay! Someone actually knows I have a link on my Youtube page! Lol, it's so weird because I was thinking about you too. I actually had a dream about it too o____o;
I am just really happy to hear from you again. I really promise to get another deviantART account, I am just waiting until my birthday to get it so I'll give the dA admins a year to believe me!
We have so much to catch up on!
xD" Of course. Oh, geeze, weird xDDD.
I am, too. I really missed you. Do you know how exactly you got banned? You were the right age at the time you got banned...was it that girl who crit your picture?
I really hope you get a dA. Sheezy is nice, but I really prefer dA .
No kidding! I miss sending each other notes ;____;
EVERYONE prefers deviantART. There are certain things I like about SheezyArt but deviantART's users made better comments and ACTUALLY commented. I felt more like home there. Now I feel like I am posting art to myself here.
I got banned because I was Skyblue1022 and they didn't believe I was 13 yet. *shakes fist at dA* I would be So angry if it was that girl who reported me... but I didn't think she knew. After our argument I learned to just forget her so I don't remember much, sadly. Although I DID say sorry for overreacting...
I miss everything we did. I can't wait three more months. They HAVE to believe me now!! They unbanned my IP address. They better accept me after they didn't return my money's worth of a year's subscription. D<
Yeah. I have wayyy too many friends over there I only come to check messages here, and maybe submit some scraps.
Well, that's gay >:c Stupid dA. I wonder why they didn't believe you.
Don't wait another 3 months. Get your ass on there .
Those bastards. I should go spam their youtube account. LOL, too much YuGiOh Abridged >___>;
I see all the comments you get. *envies*
They probably didn't believe me because I signed up a month after I was banned. I bet they wanted me to wait a year.
I CAN'T wait another three months X___X My dad says he'll get involved if I get banned AGAIN. Sounds silly but what can a teenage girl do to stop them?
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I really missed you! You almost made me snort up my pudding!
